When a colleague becomes a patient

I would like to describe an experience that helped me look at nursing in a deeper way and reinvigorated my approach to caring for patients.

For more than 20 years, I worked with Joann Popovich, RN, at Strong Memorial Hospital.  Tragically, Joann was diagnosed with breast cancer in early 2003. She fought the disease valiantly for more than a decade before passing away in 2014. Over the years, Joann became more like family to me than a co-worker.

Joann didn’t have close family in Rochester, and so as her disease progressed, I did my best to help her. I accompanied her to chemotherapy sessions and drove her to the hospital when she needed acute care.  I watched as she continued to work despite her illness, just as committed to serving others as long as she was able. She never complained to anyone about her chemotherapy treatments.

When it became apparent that she was losing her battle, it dawned upon me what an integral part of her life I had become. There is no textbook that provides a model for when a colleague becomes a patient, so I was unprepared for the lessons it would bring. During one of her last office visits, when she learned her cancer was no longer treatable, we had a very difficult conversation about completing a Do Not Resuscitate order. As a nurse, this type of discussion with patients can be extremely hard.  But nothing can prepare you for having this discussion with your dear friend.

It gave me an even closer perspective of the multiple and often unspoken fears and worries faced by patients with terminal illness. Ultimately, it has helped me better anticipate their needs and those of their loved ones. I learned from my experience that what really matters is that you are emotionally as well as physically “present” for a patient during the most challenging times. Not to talk or try to look for answers. Simply being there. Just quietly holding someone’s hand while they are in the hospital can have such a powerful impact.

Nursing is about caring for patients during all stages of life as you would care for your own loved ones. What a privilege it is to share such intimate moments in a person’s life.

I would like to take this opportunity to recognize my friend Joann and patients like her for teaching us over and over what it means to be a nurse—and that sometimes the simplest gestures of kindness mean the most.