Wedding gowns turned into children's burial garments

Dozens of Rochester-area women have pulled their wedding gowns from the attic and donated the treasured dresses to support a special cause.

Through the volunteer group Caring Hands for Angels, about 15 women transform old wedding gowns into burial garments for babies.

A collection of mothers, former nurses, seamstresses and social workers banded together to try to bring comfort to parents at a traumatic time, typically on days when their loss was unexpected.

Using deconstructed wedding dresses, volunteers create burial garments and buntings. They also knit and crochet bonnets and booties for babies who die at Golisano Children’s Hospital.

The handmade items are turned over to nurses at UR Medicine to be given to the families of babies who die in the hospital's labor and delivery unit, neo-natal intensive care unit (NICU) and the pediatric cardiac care center, said Bernadette Reidy, 69, of Pittsford, a pediatric psychologist at the hospital who launched the program in March 2014.

"It's a blessing for most of those grieving parents," said Carla LeVant, a senior social worker in pediatrics at UR Medicine. "Nobody is expecting to have that loss. Even when we can prepare families with a child's life-threatening illness, they always hold out hope."

Most families aren't prepared for a child's end of life and all the preparations that come with it, she said.

These garments provide such comfort, and are typically met with "tears and huge relief to be able to provide something so lovely" at the time of an unexpected loss.

Reidy, who specialized in chronically and critically ill children in her decades at UR Medicine, said she wanted to give back after she retired several years ago. She and LeVant, a longtime colleague, worked hand in hand to set the program in motion.

"I wanted to give in some other way (outside offering counseling) and I thought that this was something I could do," Reidy said. "It's a way you can give back and enjoy your hobby at the same time. There's only so many things you can knit or crochet to give to your family. There's only so many quilts you can make before your family is tired of it."

In the last two years, the group has made more than 80 garments for babies.

"When a baby dies, a nurse is limited in what she can do for the parents," Reidy said. "This gives us, and the nurses, a way to be able to express our sympathy for the family at an extremely difficult and sensitive time."

Some babies are buried in the gown, romper or bunting, other parents hold onto the specially made garment since it's often one of the few items to remember the child by, said Kelly Eldridge, assistant nurse manager for the NICU at Golisano Children's Hospital. Eldridge coordinates distribution for families in need via labor and delivery and the NICU.

A variety of handmade garments are stored in each hospital unit. When needed, nurses retrieve the appropriate size and gender-specific garment for each family.  Each package also includes a bonnet and a blanket.

Sometimes special circumstances require need of a non-traditional size, Eldridge said. The group always fulfills the need within 24 hours.

Dozens of donated wedding gowns, including dresses donated by women who have lost children, are stored in Reidy's Pittsford home. Every few months, volunteers gather for a "sew-in" to replenish the garment supply.

"It's part of the healing process for them," Reidy said, noting that many donors appreciate seeing photos of how their gown was repurposed for another child.

The seamstresses also often make a memento from the gown for the donor.

"We didn't realize the void we had until they filled it," Eldridge said of the volunteer group. "They've done such a wonderful job and work tirelessly to make these garments. It means so much."

VFREILE@Gannett.com

You can help

The volunteer group Caring Hands for Angels needs white and cream blizzard fleece (for baby blankets) and white and ivory baby weight yarns. They are also seeking pastel and dark blue bridesmaid dresses.

The group has a backlog of wedding gowns, but will still accept donations via a waiting list.

To volunteer or donate, email caringhandsforangels@gmail.com.

For more details, go to caringhandsforangels.com.