Behind the scenes: Derek Jeter and R.D. Long

When I was assigned to write a story on R.D. Long's relationship with Derek Jeter, I did plenty of homework.

I read other stories online about the Webster High graduate and the New York Yankees icon, who roomed together in the mid-1990s.

I read The Captain, Ian O'Connor's provocative and fair unauthorized biography of Jeter.

And, of course, I interviewed Long. For two hours, over lunch.

I came to the following conclusion: Jeter is definitely someone I would like to know, but he's not someone I'd like to cross.

Like many diehard Boston Red Sox fans, I find it hard to cheer against the face of the franchise we despise. Isn't that funny? But it's true. And not at all unusual. I have never liked the Miami Dolphins yet admired head coach Don Shula and Hall of Fame quarterback Dan Marino. Don Mattingly, another "face of the franchise" for the Yankees in the 1980s, was my favorite player. I loved his swing, and his demeanor.

Jeter is hard to dislike. He works his butt off, he never shows up opponents, and when he shows emotion – who can't picture him pumping his fist after another great Yankee moment? – it's never directed at the other team. He is simply happy his team won.

Long documents that work ethic and determination to win in my story here http://on.rocne.ws/1qkklcL

But he also depicts, as others have done, a man whose photo could be next to the definition of "thin-skinned."

Exhibit A: Ken Huckaby, former catcher for the Toronto Blue Jays. It was Huckaby who hustled to third base on Opening Night in 2001 and collided with Jeter, who had attempted to take one base too many. Jeter separated his shoulder and missed several week.

Huckaby says he tried to call Jeter right away. Jeter told reporters "He doesn't have my number." Two days after the incident, Huckaby made the slow trek to the visitors clubhouse to seek Jeter out. He told him he was sorry, that it was an accident, that he hoped Jeter would be OK. And that, yes, he had tried to call him – or a number that was given to him.

Jeter, Huckaby says, simply stared at him. No emotion. No expression. A dead stare, until Huckaby says he couldn't take it any more and walked away.

Exhibit B: Chad Curtis. The former Yankees outfielder and religious zealot confronted Jeter after a 1999 Yankees-Mariners brawl, in which Jeter was seen yucking it up with good buddy and sleepover pal Alex Rodriguez, then Seattle's star shortstop. Jeter was furious that Curtis would confront him on the field and again in the clubhouse. The story goes that Jeter demanded Curtis be traded in the offseason. Sure enough, off he went to Texas. (Curtis currently is serving 7 to 15 years in a Michigan correctional facility after being found guilty in 2013 of six counts of criminal sexual conduct.

And Exhibit C: A-Rod himself. The two were close friends before A-Rod opened his mouth in two 2000 interviews and said that Jeter was not a true leader or an opponent anyone feared.

"He just doesn't do the power numbers," A-Rod told ESPN radio, explaining why he was being paid more than Jeter. "And defensively, he doesn't do all those things."

Three months later, A-Rod stuck his foot in his mouth again with Esquire magazine, saying "Jeter has never had to lead."

I get Jeter's pain here. A-Rod, realizing he had ruined their relationship, even drove 90 minutes from the Rangers' spring training facility in Port Charlotte, Fla., to Jeter's house in Tampa during spring training to apologize. Jeter was fully aware A-Rod was there and reportedly left him waiting and waiting while he lingered over a meal at a local restaurant.

Jeter would not relent, even after A-Rod joined the Yankees in 2004. Team officials wanted the two to make amends but were afraid to approach Jeter.

"It would've been the last conversation I ever had with Derek," one official said in a 2011 interview. "I would've been dead to him. It would've been like approaching Joe DiMaggio to talk to him about Marilyn Monroe."

Heck, Jeter reportedly was irked by O'Connor's book, even though it's full of praise (and yes, true stories of Jeter being a little ultra-sensitive).

"I wish someone wrote a book about me with so many compliments," one reviewer said.

Jeter, Long says, takes very seriously his status as a role model.

"He would never do anything to hurt kids' perception of him," Long says. "It would crush him."

I can't think of any athlete as successful and famous as Jeter who is less quote-worthy. I mean, really, what are Jeter's most famous quotes? He is very careful about what he says. He reminds me a great deal of Cal Ripken Jr., another baseball icon.

I think a large part of Jeter enjoys the adulation, and I don't blame him. But the "let's get back to playing the game" mantra wears thin. If he really didn't want such a fuss made over him – didn't want a Farewell Tour - why not announce his retirement AFTER the season instead of before?

And yet, Jeter is as fan-friendly an athlete as I've ever seen, right up there with Ripken. There have been times when Jeter was out at a restaurant and fans approached mid-bite, looking for an autograph. Many players would shoo the people away, but Jeter simply signs. He would rather do that than have anyone walk away with a bad impression of him.

I've documented my "brush with fame" in previous posts. It was 1995, the Triple-A All-Star Game in Moosic, Pa. Jeter was a rising star. Everyone knew he was destined for greatness. I approached him at a bar after the Home Run Derby and said I had covered R.D. Long throughout high school.

"Really?" Jeter said, immediately interested. "R.D.'s my boy."

We talked about R.D. and other baseball things, and then Jeter asked if he could buy me a drink. I repeat: Jeter asked if he could buy me a drink.

The baseball gods interfered at that point, or at least my poor judgment did. Red Wings outfielder Mark Smith – himself a No. 1 draft pick – walked through the door at that moment, said hi to me and invited me to another bar. I took the bait, told Jeter "thanks but no thanks" and headed to the other bar, where Mark Smith by now was with an attractive female and not interested in me.

Yes, this is among the bad decisions in my life. The next time I saw Jeter was 1999 in New York during the World Series. He was a full-fledged star by now, and while the R.D. trick still worked, Jeter had an invisible wall up. The "don't-get-TOO-close" wall.

Jeter has long stated he would like to play "well into his 40s." There was even talk he would stick around long enough to break Pete Rose's all-time hits record of 4,256. But he is 40 as he says goodbye next weekend.

Long thinks it's because his old buddy was so hurt during the last contract negotiations, when Yankees GM Brian Cashman used statistics to show the shortstop's decline.

"He doesn't want to go through that again," Long says. "He'd rather retire."

I think that's a large part of it. I also think Jeter doesn't want to be part of the A-Rod circus that returns to Yankee Stadium next season. And, he realizes the Yankees may be in rebuilding mode – if that's even possible for a team with endless pockets.

Either way, one of the most iconic players in baseball history will hang up his spikes next Sunday, and a generation of fans will understand how people felt when Ruth, DiMaggio and Mantle said goodbye.

I noticed a wide range of emotions from Long during our interview, which took place in late August at Hicks & McCarthy's restaurant in Pittsford. Hurt. Anger. Resentment. And yet, love.

Imagine if someone you knew 20 years ago, someone you befriended, hit it big and moved on. No contact. No cell number. Nothing.

Long told me several teammates from that Greensboro/Tampa group in the early 1990s have called him because they want to reconnect with Jeter. They just assume that he, Jeter's main man back then, would have his number.

"But I haven't had it for years," Long says. "Jeter doesn't want to associate with anyone who remembers how he was – that shy, gawky kid. He wants you to think of him the way he is now."

An interesting part of the interview took place when Long mentioned Jeter had a girlfriend coming into pro ball but broke up with her at Long's suggestion (mainly becasuse Long and Jeter were hooking up with other girls, and Long didn't think it was fair to the girlfriend). I asked R.D. if he remembered the girlfriend's name.

"I do," Long says. "But you'll have to ask him."

Ask Jeter? Why?

"Because he might not like it (that Long gave the name out)."

This was strange, because the girlfriend's name had been mentioned more than once in The Captain.

"Are you and others worried that Jeter will get mad if you give information like that out?" I asked.

"It's not worry, it's a fact," Long said. "With Jeter, it's not his reaction, it's his action."

Ah. Back to the shortstop whose skin is thinner than his hair.

We moved on. We talked about how Jeter's parents called in 1996 and insisted he not live with Long the next year. About how Long was hoping for an invitation to Jeter's final game – an invite that never came.

Finally, we went outside. We were talking about Jeter's thin frame when he came out of high school when Long suddenly said, "It's Marissa."

"What?" I asked.

"Marissa. The girlfriend's name. It's Marissa."

"Why are you telling me this now?" I said with a laugh.

"Because I don't care."

Twenty years of love – and unrequited love – had been swirling through his head.

I think Jeter has been great for baseball. And I think that, after 20 years in New York City, as shortstop and captain of the most visible team in the world, if the worst we can say is he is thin-skinned . . . God bless him.

Thursday night will mark Jeter's last game at Yankee Stadium. Expect fans to blow the roof off the place. Jeter is as close to a baseball God as there is. I noticed that in the handful of e-mails I got criticiting Long for suggesting the he molded Jeter.

To them, I offered the same response: We can't look at this through 2014 eyes. We have to go back to 1993. A scared, struggling teen-age baseball player who cried himself to sleep at night. A college-educated player three years older, with a much more aggressive personality. The young kid looked up to his older friend, and followed his lead

Derek Jeter will not be happy with some of the things Long said in our story. I get that. But Long was careful not to throw his old friend under the bus. He did offer this:

"Everyone thinks Jeter works out, has his milk and goes to bed early," he said. "And it's just not true. Jeter has a great work ethic, and he takes his profession very seriously. But he's no angel. None of us are."

It has been an amazing career for Jeter. When I met him in 1995, at the Triple-A All-Star Game in Moosic, Pa., he was still a prospect. His fame and fortune were just a year away. Jeter has done the Yankees – and baseball – very proud. No one ever has been prouder to wear his uniform or made the fans prouder of him.

Well done, Captain.

Now pick up the phone and call R.D. Long.